The Bump

So I already told some of you this story, but I forgot the best part. The other day at the gym I was on the treadmill and this guy who says he is the manager comes up to me and asks me if I want a free session with a personal trainer. I don't mask my annoyance and say not really. Then he says come on it's free; run for ten minutes then come in my office. I looked annoyed again and say fine. Then he puts his fist in the air in front of me. I stare at him and think to myself. This is hilarious, this big guy in the gym is doing the "bump" to me. I try not to laugh or look too excited for my first time and return the bump. So a few minutes later I'm in his office and he asks how much I weigh and has me get on the scale. He says lets just round up for my weight and asks how much I want to lose. I say maybe 15. He says come on, 20. I tell him no, then he asks to feel under my arm. I extend my arm and he pinches. He says he could feel a little, but he could have felt more if I weren't flexing so much. I give him my "seriously?" look. Then he wants to know which plan I want: $1000, $800, or $450. I say I don't really want any. If I try a little harder I could lose any weight myself. He says oh, well I don't want you to get in trouble with your husband so bring him in here with you. He then says he knows that I go to the gym to lose weight. I tell him actually the main reason I go to the gym is to be by myself, have alone time, and not have to talk to anyone. He then says he isn't hitting on me and he has a wife. I look at him like he has some kind of mental impairment and say that I never thought he was. HELLO, you don't tell people that they're fat if you are hitting on them! He again asks me to bring my husband in and then gives me another "bump." I am less excited this time.